Life is simpLy a coLLection of little lives, each lived one day at a time.... click away.. :)
Sunday, December 25, 2011

Listen.. that's all I ask..
This morning during our lecture, may binigay na handout samin na isang poem..

Listen

When i asked you to listen to me
and you start giving advice
you have not done what i asked

When  i  asked you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why i shouldn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings

When i asked you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
then you have failed me, strange as that may seem

Listen!! all i asked was that you listen,
not talk or do - just hear me
Advice is cheap : 10 cents will get you both Dear Abby and
Billy  Graham in the same newspaper.
And i can do for myself; i am not helpless,
maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless..

When you do something for me that i can and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and weakness

But when you accept as a simple fact that i do feel what i feel,
no matter how irrational, then i can quit trying to convince you
and get about the business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling
And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and i don't need advice
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's behind them

Perhaps that's why prayer works, sometimes, for some people
because God is mute and He doesn't give advice or try to fix things.
He just listens and let you work it out for yourself.

So please listen and just hear me. And , if you want to talk
wait a minute for your turn; and i'll listen to you

-anonymous-




These past weeks kc, we  were in the oncology unit..  Most of the patients there e matatagal na dun sa unit.. prang hinihintay nlng nila ang kanilang oras.. may mga depressed, my mga on denial, at may iba nmn na accepted na nila ang magiging fate nila.. nakakaawa ngang tingnan ang mga pasyente nmin eh.. last week pa nmn, isa sa mga naassign sakin eh totally depressed na babae.. she's a caucasian female in her 60's and she is diagnosed with breast cancer, na nagmetastasize na sa kanyang bone and colon.. tpos marami pa cyang medical history na nagpapacomplicate sa kanyang situation.. suka  cya ng suka  ng green color khit na hindi nmn cya kumain ng breakfast nya dat day.. pra dw ung lumabas eh  ung kinain nya pa  the previous days.. sabi ng doktor nga eh kya ganon dw kc obstructed daw ung colon nya dhil nga sa tumor, that's why she's constipated.. hindi lumalabas ung feces (tae) kya naiipon lng sa loob ng katawan.. kung hindi un tatanggalin eh maiimpeksyon cya.. can u imagine, it's been 5 days na dw cya hindi dumudumi?? tpos marami pa daw masakit sa kanyang katawan, plus iba pa ung emotional pain that she's going through..

I tried to comfort her kaso she really was feeling so down and tlgang natatakot cya..  and then she started to cry!! ay grabe.. i was speechless nga nung una eh..  tpos nauutal ako ng onti coz i'm not sure what to say.. i cant tell her  nmn na 'everything will be ok" kc it's like giving them false reassurance (which is one thing na tinuturo sa skul na iwasang sabihin).. and i saw in her face na sabik cya na may kausap so i stayed with her khit time na lunch break nmn.. dun ko nadiskubre na andaming masasalimuot na pangyayari sa buhay nya pla na nag-aadd up sa kanyang depression.. just to give you an idea, she was repeatedly raped by her step brother and the brother of her so-called friend, she became pregnant and had a child after one of those rapes,, she had 20 abortions, she just recently discovered after her mother's death this yr that she was an unwanted child and ung tatay na kinikilala nya e hindi pala un ang kanyang biological father.. her boyfriend nya dw ngayon (oo, tama nabasa mo! boyfriend at hindi asawa) eh tinetake cya for granted that he's not even visiting her sa hospital.. pinupuntahan lng kung may kelangan na pera.. and so on and so forth... basta marami tlga..

i just listened.. i sat at her bedside and held her hand at hinayaan ko lng cyang umiyak doon.. she needs to let it all out.. i may not be able to cure her or take away all the pain she's been through, but at least i could listen to her.. feeling nya kc she's so neglected eh..  so hindi ko cya iniwanan khit na ung tiyan ko eh nagrereklamo na at gutom narin.. it's past lunchtime na un kc and I was there since 6:45am..

Pagkatapos kong basahin ung poem knina, naalala ko tuloy ung psyente ko last week.. Tama lng pala ung ginawa ko.. i used silence and therapeautic touch as my means of communication.. o diba!! naalala ko rin kc ung sabi nga ng mga professor ko, if there comes a time na hindi mo alam kung ano sasabihin mo sa iyong pasyente , tumahimik k nlng at hayaan mong ilabas ng pasyente mo ang kanyang nararamdaman.. and to be honest, I felt good after our duty noon. I felt I made a difference, no matter how small it may be.

Sabi nga ng friend kong si Mark, hindi nya daw kaya yung ganon. Too depressing dw to handle. May point cya..You see people at their worst, hoping that somehow you could help them out in their weakest state.. Mahirap talaga kung tutuusin.

I may just spend just a few hours with my patients but a few hours could teach you so much about life's lability, and how fragile, precious, and fleeting it is. Minsan nga iniisip ko, is it really us who is making a difference in their lives, or them making a difference in ours. Gets?

 



inspire me..

.. unsilenced at 04:40 pm
~cee _ jay~
Thursday, June 14, 2007

psst..

Salamat po muli..

Shukran katheyr..

thank you..

(^__^)




(1) made my day..

.. unsilenced at 03:10 pm
~cee _ jay~
Sunday, May 20, 2007

Handa Awit..

Pinoy ka ba?

Sige nga, kung pinoy ka tlaga, alam mo ba na ang national anthem pala natin na ang Lupang Hinirang eh may 3 version at ang ikatlo at huling version na ang nasa wikang tagalog? Una pala ay nasa wikang Espanyol at ikalawa sa wikang Ingles.. 

###

Spanish version:

Tierra adorada
Hija del sol de Oriente,
Su fuego ardiente
en ti latiendo está.

¡Tierra de amores!
Del heroísmo cuna,
Los invasores
No te hollarán jamás.

En tu azul cielo, en tus auras,
En tus montes y en tu mar
Esplende y late el poema
De tu amada libertad.

Tu pabellón, que en las lides
La victoria iluminó,
No verá nunca apagados
Sus estrellas y su sol.

Tierra de dichas, del sol y de amores,
En tu regazo dulce es vivir.
Es una gloria para tus hijos,
Cuando te ofenden, por ti morir.

English Version:

Beloved Country,
Pearl of the Orient,
The heart's fervor
In your heart is ever alive.

Chosen land,
You are the cradle of the brave.
To the conquerors
You shall never surrender.

Through the seas and mountains,
Through the air and your azure skies,
There is splendor in the poem
And song for dear freedom.

The sparkle of your flag
Is shining victory.
Its stars and sun
Forever will never dim.

Land of the morning, of glory, of our affection,
Life is heaven in your arms;
When someone oppresses you, it is our pleasure
To die for you.

###
Try nyong kantahin sila sa tono ng Lupang hinirang.. Scroll mo na uli pataas at subukan nyo...

Naaliw lng ako kc nalaman ko lng din na marami palang version ang lupang hinirang na alam natin ngaun. At eto pa, isang amerikano na never pa na never pang nakapunta sa pinas ang nagturo sakin nito. Tama ba na mas alam nya pa to kesa sakin?

Akala ko pa naman nationalistic ako.. e national anthem palang e bagsak na ko!

shux na ito..  haha!

Eh kayo ba alam nyo un???




inspire me..

.. unsilenced at 07:43 pm
~cee _ jay~
Sunday, May 06, 2007

can you read this?

Aglt ayaS. Abi gn pirtrtnan, awagam gnalaw gn awagagan gna ote. kstkstkst. Ak parih an parih ta om arusti ck awatakakan. Nawe gnak ahkumgam gnaggnah yrt gn gnl ak yrt, dagaak stegan naman om idnih gnuk. Oyat ripa! Erap om gnilag. Ok an agnah gnal yrt gnasi an ot om asaban gapak. Ot nihasab gnom yrt awagam gnak alaw gnuk.

***

oh well.. try to read that dude! goodluck..




inspire me..

.. unsilenced at 02:53 pm
~cee _ jay~
Saturday, April 28, 2007

one of those days again..

i didn't wake up at the right side of the bed this morning.. woke up earlier than usual.. had a bad dream.. didn't have my usual energy to go out and enjoy the beautiful day outside, and my day just didn't feel right overall. It's my free weekend, no work..  I should be happy, right? But here i am feeling otherwise.. I just hate days like this.. argh!

I don't know why i feel what i feel. weird.. again, i am having my moments of weirdness.. *sighs* don't mind me.. i am being melodramatic again.. and if you don't get me, oh well.. i don't get myself either, so dont bother asking me why. I can't give you an answer..

*sighs*




(1) made my day..

.. unsilenced at 11:10 pm
~cee _ jay~
Wednesday, April 25, 2007

who's viewed me?

hehe.. lalang.. naaliw lng ako sa numero.. :P

**update**

As of 4/29/2007, total views has come up to 171.. haha! nice.. my record high... :P




(1) made my day..

.. unsilenced at 02:16 pm
~cee _ jay~
Thursday, April 05, 2007

The rose..

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless, aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed

It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky, and the strong

Just remember, in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies a seed, that with the sun's love
In the spring, becomes the rose..



inspire me..

.. unsilenced at 02:20 pm
~cee _ jay~
Sunday, March 25, 2007

the revelation.

all the cards are now open, nothing to hide..

and the weekend finished with a bang! haha! P




inspire me..

.. unsilenced at 08:49 pm
~cee _ jay~

a cat's life..

If I were to choose
to live one life
to that of nine,
I'd choose the one
where you'll be mine
to keep...

If our love be
unrequited in this lifetime,
I'd pray that I'd live
once more in another
To find you again..
and to fall in love with you
like it was the first time...

If this journey of
nine lives mean
nine times the pain,
yet nine times the joy you bring,
So be it..

I'd go on living one unto another,
finding you..
loving you..
and hoping each time
I'll get to keep you
forever...

 




(1) made my day..

.. unsilenced at 03:50 am
~cee _ jay~
Saturday, March 24, 2007

happy

happy birthday to me..

and i am truly happy..

hope all my wishes come true..

prayovers please! Tongue

basta..

Big Smile




(2) made my day..

.. unsilenced at 12:21 pm
~cee _ jay~
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